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Is Living Vicariously Through Others Dangerous for You?

Updated: Aug 10, 2020

You might think living vicariously through someone is fun. It's watching someone do something you wish you could without the risk of failure or risking anything at all.

Living vicariously through someone means "as if" experiencing it, indirectly, through someone else. But you know it's not true "living". It will never feel enough, it will never be your own life. All we have is this life, just this moment, right now. And right now you can decide to do something differently.

I encourage you to Live Life for yourself. 

I'm not saying abandon the people who've shown you the way or inspired you, everyone needs role models. I'm saying, you've seen it done, now go do it. I remember saying to my friends who were in film schools, "Have fun! I will live vicariously through you!" it sounded like a compliment at the time. Afterall, it seemed like what they were doing was so grand and interesting, I couldn't do that. That wasn't really for me. And now I'm a filmmaker... and they're not. Life has funny ways of leading us places, doesn't it?

I remember dipping my toes into filmmaking, but very slightly. At the time it was so foreign to me. I remember my first "role" in a friend's school project. It was fun being in it and then coming to his English class to watch myself "on TV". I remember attending Independent Film Club (honestly it was more of a social hour) and scratching the surface of what film could be. I remember visiting NC School of the Arts with friends and going to friends' film classes and being fascinated. 

But I never imagined being the one to create films. Scripts and film shoots and acting were just another world I couldn't grasp. I thought, "Who was I to be in film?" I didn't even watch that many films. I was going to be a designer.

Yet, I was drawn to behind the scenes of it all.

Then, when I started acting, writing, and producing, I remember saying, "I can't direct, I'm not a director." Yet, when the time came, I did it. I did it because no one else knew the story better than me. It was a quick shoot and it was too much to explain to someone else what it is that I wanted. I was already directing actors, so why couldn't I direct the film?

After all, the only way to be a director is to direct. Director's path is not through being an assistant director, it's not through being a writer, it's learning by doing. It is its own skill because it is having a vision and bringing that vision forth by utilizing the people to help you bring that vision to life.

And I bet whatever you want to do, the only way to do it is by doing. Am I right?

So is it dangerous living vicariously through others? I would say so. If you're not living, what are you doing? Surviving, existing, aging into oblivion?

But who am I to tell you how to start living vicariously through yourself? You go do it and let me know how it goes for you ;) Deal? :) And share this blog with your friends so you can keep each other accountable.

Let me know in the comments on Instagram @ValeriaSweetOfficial how you will start living vicariously through yourself or if you have any questions!

Stay sweet,

Valeria ♥


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